Some couples stay in unhappy marriages until resentment builds to an extent that divorce becomes the only option. They seldom voice their unhappiness but just go with the flow hoping that things will change.
Then there is a group of couples who try with everything in their power to find solutions to their relationship problems before they throw in the towel.
One thing that these two categories of people have in common is that they fail to involve a marriage counselor. In other words, both groups don’t give their marriages fair chances by working with professionals.
Generally, solving marriage problems takes a lot of skills—skills that few people are naturally equipped with. You may think that you are doing all you can to solve a problem in marriage but just worsening things. A marriage counselor will expose you to new ways of solving relationship problems and getting your needs met.
However, like any life endeavor, there are things that you need to do to ensure that marriage counseling benefits you:
1. Do what your counselor proposes
Imagine going to your doctor and getting a prescription, not taking it, then coming the following day to the same doctor and complaining that the treatment didn’t work! Like prescription, marriage counseling will only work if you take action. The therapy session is only a fraction of the work.
2. Keep your problems to yourself
Some people have a habit of pouring their hearts out to their relatives and friends about the problems that they are experiencing with their spouses. This is not right as it leaks energy out of your marriage, encourages the victim mentality and keep your head buried in negative thoughts.
3. Have an open mind
Before you come to any type of relationship counselling Burnaby has to offer, assume that you don’t know the source of the problem. Remember, you cannot solve a problem from inside the problem.
4. Be emphatic with your partner
One of the biggest problems that Burnaby couples have when it comes to counseling is lack of empathy for how their partners feel. Try to put yourself in your spouse shoes and imagine how they may be feeling. Remember that beneath the anger is fear and hatred, and your spouse—irrespective of how they sound—are hurting.
The success of relationship counseling depends on your actions. Yes, your action is the medicine. If you choose to continue doing what you have always done, you will just end with similar results. Although this may sound normal to you, it is emphatically true when it comes to relationship counseling.